Today we are going to try out an old Bill Simmons staple- the running diary. Hey, he isn’t writing anymore, I figure all his old things are up for grabs. And he hasn’t used this particular gag in years, first moving to the “retro diary” before completely forgetting it. In theory, twitter has replaced this particular type of writing, but let’s bring it back for PSU - Michigan, a matchup that sounds better than maybe it actually will be.
Most likely Michigan is too talented and experienced for this particular Penn State team. Penn State is coming off a bye, and it is Senior day - these things matter in college ball. So let’s see what happens…
12:07 - PSU gets the ball first, so we can probably go three and out right off the bat.
12:08 - Remember the name Chris Godwin, he will be a good possession receiver in the NFL. He makes tough yards, and in a better scheme, he would be open more often. And Michigan gifts PSU a first
12:10 - BOOOM- there goes Barkley all the way to the ten yard line, need to cash this in for the a TD immediately. So of course, PSU goes to the wildcat, and goes nowhere, ugh. (I would have liked it if it worked better)
12:12 - UGHhhh - three straight running plays into the teeth of the defense. And PSU only gets a field goal after an absolutely huge run. 3-0 PSU, decent start.
12:16 - Thankfully Julius is back to doing kickoffs, and in an absolutely amazing shocker- a holding call is made on the kickoff. I’m shocked. Also, Jim Harbaugh is still super annoying. I am sure we will see him four thousand times this game.
12:20 - It is still amazing how open receivers are against PSU’s defense and how covered PSU receivers are against every other defense. Michigan just got a first down to a guy wide open between zones.
12:22 - third and 9 - PSU gives up 39, awesome. Also, sack leader Carl Nassib wasn’t in for that play, which makes zero sense. And by sack leader - I mean the guy who leads the nation in sacks, not just the team. Yeah, let’s leave him out of the game an obvious pass play. (he may no longer lead the nation after the bye week, but he was a couple weeks ago)
12:26 - TD Michigan, the soft zone looks like garbage so far. Still no Nassib and no pass rush at all for the second string D-ends. Technically Sickels is a starter, but given who he plays next to, he is terrible. 7-3 Michigan
12:31 - First down throw to no one. Two receivers run crossing routes, somehow the throw is behind both of them.
12:32 - And there's a sack - the protection had Brent Wilkerson one on one with a defensive end, that's a tight end, not a tackle. Fuck me. then motion on the o-line, and Kyle carter can’t catch a pass so we punt. Kyle Carter needs to go away. He can’t do anything on a football field that can be construed as a positive for Penn State. So the tight ends gave up a sack and then dropped a ball on that series.
12:36- Oh - Torrrence Brown just killed the QB. yikes that was a big hit. (Still no NAssib)
12:37 - And a pick for Brandon Bell with a tough run back after the catch. The Qb never saw him.
12:37 - Weird trick play, a wildcat reverse to have Hack throw it. Nice try for the big play after the turnover. But then a third down run, goes nowhere and PSU is three and out again. This offense is such a pile of garbage. Defense back on the field so quickly.
12:49 - Defense finally gets a third down stop to start the second quarter. Apparently NAssib isn’t going to play- ABC has no inclination to let us know what is going on there. Apparently they don’t care
12:51 - Brent Wilkerson with his second catch- Kyle Carter should take notes. Meanwhile, Hack has gotten Michigan to jump three times this game- interesting wrinkle to his game.
12:52 - Hamilton runs a terrible route for a deep ball. He was running towards the middle on a go route for some reason.
12:55 - Hack takes a terrible sack after Michigan gifts PSU a first down. He needs to throw the ball away more. UGH. Followed by a run up the middle. More garbage offense- 3 and 19 now.
12:57 - Wow, the punters are so bad for Penn State- they routinely have punts that go twenty yards, but when we only want a twenty yard punt, they boot that shit into the end zone. How’s that college education working out out?
1:00 - That sack took PSU out of field goal range, put the defense back on the field and PSU is still losing. The is fucking awesome.
1:08 - Michigan gifts PSU a third down stop with a drop on the conversion. Meaning we get more Hack time. So far, we are 0-2 on downfield throws. Hopefully we keep taking shots- those are the best shot to loosen up the defense.
1:12 - What the fuck- another third down run on a third and five or longer…. And its for a loss of yardage. Give me more garbage offense!!
1:16 - Michigan fumbles a snap for a three yard gain, haha. Even a screw up gains yardage. - John Donovan will have Hack run that play in the second half.
1:18 - Best series for the defense so far, getting a three out and the only three yards gained... AND A BLOCKED PUNT!! -LET’S GO!!
1:23 - TOUCHDOWN to Blacknall…. the d-back had no idea where the ball was on an underthrown pass. Nce 10-7 PSU
1:26 - Defense need to not give up points since Michigan gets the ball to start the second half.
1:27 - On third and long, PSU calls timeout while the clock was stopped. I have no idea why, but I am sure the terrible clock management is to blame.
1:29 - Of course Michigan converts. On a safety blitz, they go over the top. Seems to be a theme you get Shoop’s defense on. And a couple screen passes with some terrible tackling has Michigan almost guaranteed points.
1:32 - Now more soft zone and Michigan is in the red zone. God dammit.
1:32 - And touchdown Michigan because Penn State can’t sustain success at all. I think that PSU time out was straight fucking stupid for Franklin to call. There was no reason to let them call plays from the sideline on huge third down.. 14-10 Michigan
1:35 - And the garbage offense won’t try to score in the final fifty seconds. Fuck this. You should go coach soccer if you are scoring averse. You basically gifted your opponent a second possession in a row AND then let them off hook from having to play defense. In a one possession game- you can’t give them away. Hopefully he learns that is a bullshit approach.
2:00 - Defense starts the second half where it left off, giving up easy completions and not tackling. Good thing we didn’t try and score.
2:03 - Michigan just grinding down the field, short completions and easy runs eating up chunks of yardage. Back D-line in the game, which won’t help the pass rush that isn’t getting home consistently.
2:05 - Captain Khaki thinks PSU should be penalized more as the defense finally holds after gving up field position. PSU will start at their own five. This has happened so often- i can predict what will happen. PSU is going to either go three and out, or only get one first down, then punt. Since the punting is so weak, Michigan will get the ball, at worst, at their own forty.
2:14 -Michigan ball at their own 33, after a penalty on the punt. Of course, Anthony Zettel gives it all back on a roughing the passer penalty and jumped into the QB. This is going to get him ejected. Incredibly stupid to do. That’s his last play in Beaver Stadium. Oh- he gets to stay, I honestly think he should have been ejected by the letter of the law. Anyway - Michigan now at the 50.
2:20 - Michigan punts to a shaky handed returner and gets the ball at the ten. Fuck. I hate those pays. You don’t even have to touch the ball and we get to keep it. Instead a freshman drops an unreturnable kick. SO dumb.
2:22 - TD michigan running it right at PSU’s defense, which can’t get a break from the field due to terrible offensive players. 21-10 Michigan.
2:23 - This lead feels insurmountable. PSU under Franklin has not come back from a double digit deficit that I can remember. Thankfully there isn’t a sure handed returner that can we can use on kicks where we would prefer to not let them down us inside the five. Instead its a freshman who doesn’t catch the ball consistently.
2:26- Oh, good, more Penn State offense. Let’s see what garbage offense we can dial up. ABC can’t seem to figure out how a microphone works, they’ve twice thrown it to the sideline reporter so we can have uncomfortable silence. Good stuff.
2:28 - Captain Khaki still not a fan of the officials. Back to back penalties have gotten PSU thirty yards. and now out to midfield.
2:31 - Hack gets whacked and is out of the game for a 3-20 . Trace McSorley throws a ball to the bench. garbage offense doing work. Hack took off his helmet, he knew there was no way they were converting. Ball game.
2:34 - ABC finally lets us know Nassib isn’t playing. Meanwhile, the soft zone is getting ate up again. Michigan is on the move to really salt this game away. Unless the defense gets a turnover, I don’t see the offense going 80 yards for points anytime soon…. AND they forced the fumble!! Brandon Bell again- strip and recover.
2:39 - PSU goes three plays for no yards, and can’t signal in a play for fourth down. Hack was flipping through his wristband in confusion before calling timeout.
2:40 - But they convert on a seam route that Hack stuck on Chris Godwin, who then did some big boy football shit to wrestle the ball all the way down to the five. Trust- Chris Godwin will do something in the NFL. He isn’t Allen Robinson, but he can be Wes Welker.
2:46 - And PSU goes backwards to open the fourth quarter, and kicks another field goal. Barkley is playing like a freshman when the hole isn’t there, trying to do crap in the backfield rather than get up field. Of course, that’s just frustration speaking - the offensive line actively gets out of the way of defenders to let them into the backfield. We have so many pulling guards that open the holes for the defenders to pour through - its ridiculous. So it's an 8 point game, but maybe the defense got a breather after that fumble recovery. 21-13 Michigan.
2:52 - Captain Khaki, still displeased with the officials.
2:55 - Three and out for Michigan. And now Greg Garrity is back to receive, hmm. PSU with ok field position. Let’s do this. Probably need two scores still in order to win.
3:03 - Hack has run for the last two first downs… the offense has come to this. Ugh… LET’S GO!
3:09 - PSU inside the ten again. Need a TD here. Come on Lions!
3:11 - And incomplete pass from the 2… And settle for a field goal, not our best play…. Somehow the ball gets just high enough to clear the crossbar. 21-16 Michigan.
3:14 - PSU has had first and goal three times, resulting in 9 points. And piss poor tackling on the kick return gives Michigan great field position. PSU can’t sustain success.
3:16 - Immediately Michigan in the red zone after the special teams and young players play shitty football. Awesome. Now without a turnover, michigan gets the three points back
3:18 - ABC with more awkward silence from the sideline reporter. The best part is they apparently think it's working.
3:20 - Michigan is going to score, it's a no brainer, Shoop just lined up with no one to the wide side of the field, but somehow just gave up a run up the middle. That formation was designed to fail. Michigan on the one
3:21 - There it is - Michigan winning this game in the red zone. 28 - 16 Michigan.Fuck
3:27 - Yeah it’s over, this Hack is done. On first down he throws to a receiver who decides looking for the ball is beneath him. Hamilton is not very good at route running, catching, or generally doing anything to get open.
3:31 - Michigan is going to take a knee and ball game - 28 - 16 Michigan. Mother shit.
Deep breath - well PSU has lost twice in a row to ranked opponents. which is probably about right for this team. They are young and really struggle to execute on a play to play basis. They have hung tough with ranked opponents. The hard thing to look at is the step the back we will take at QB next year after Hack leaves. Next week will be another loss probably, and we will do this again.
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